It’s a weird thing for me when I see someone in a pair of shoes that I would personally love to wear. It’s hard even for me to describe to you what really goes on subconsciously in my mind. But to try to put it plainly for you, part of me wants to be them in that moment. Not that I’m just that obsessed with shoes, but somehow I get this picture in my mind that their life must be so much greater because their shoes are perfect.
Fashion to me can hide so much. It can mask insecurity, it can build walls between you and others (my emo/goth phase), and it can even allow you to blend in to nothingness if that’s what you want. The way you dress speaks volumes about you simply because it’s the outward statement of your personal choices that people can visibly see. I’ve always wanted to portray confidence through the pieces that I wear. However, that confidence is not a completely accurate picture of who I really am.
I think it would be unfair to you all if you thought I was always bold and happy and cheerful and carefree like my eclectic sense of fashion gives off. It’s just not reality. I have insecurities. I have been made fun of for being tall my entire life. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. Honestly there are days where I am just tired of this “mortal coil” and the struggles that come with it. I don’t say these things because I want pity, but because I think we all can relate! It reminds me so much that this world really isn’t my home. I’m merely a visitor, a stranger in a foreign land.
So what brings me joy when it is so easy to be so critical of myself? I am a spiritual being, more than just flesh and bones. The knowledge that every day my body is dying, I see how important connecting with other people becomes more of a priority. If all of my self-worth was placed in what I wear, how I look, what I own, who I know, then my life would be one series of disappointments and comparisons after another. Honestly, it’s tiring to try to keep up! On days when fear and insecurity creep in, I know deep in my heart that I am dearly loved and treasured by the God of this universe. And I’m not loved because of my accomplishments, or my appearance, or even what kind of work I do. My soul, my inmost being, brings joy and glory to God because He cares so much for me.
So I want to encourage you! You are more than the sum of all the things you aspire to be and to do. You are far more precious than you could ever know. When this life lets you down and people fail you, there is only one true Hope. His name is Jesus, and He will never disappoint. So instead of wanting to be “in her shoes,” thinking that anybody else’s life is more important or somehow better, try looking a little deeper at the spiritual. I think it will change greatly the way you view yourself and others.
Lastly, music really touches the spiritual side of us and I am leaving you with an encouraging song suggestion! “Thursday” by Jess Glynne. Love you guys.